is your mom at the bar?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't turn off my feet"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize