and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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