I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
