Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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