OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
