Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
