I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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