I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
