remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
