Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
