my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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