i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
