yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
