The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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