Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
