And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
