How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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