He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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