So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
