I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize