At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I party with great urgency now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
