I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
