Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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