I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
