tonight lets celebrate not being married
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
