I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
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I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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