FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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