grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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