please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
