I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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