dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
