oh god the rape fog is back!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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