i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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