Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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