My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
