Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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