whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
