So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
