oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
