I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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