Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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