I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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