Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just had sex on a roof
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
