Soap is not a condiment
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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