We're like a lot better than the average bears
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm both gender and math confused
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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