I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just found puke in my bra..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I just put wine in my tea
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
