You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
