there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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