My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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