She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
