You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
