I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
