We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So squirting runs in the family.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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