so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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