I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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